In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
