Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
