OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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