would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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