good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
