You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I wannas sexs uuuuu
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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