last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
