Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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