Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
40s are totally the cure
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
