it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize