Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize