It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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