we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
