ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize