I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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