I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
