Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
