My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
