just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
