Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
