I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
