my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Do vagina's smell?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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