i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
