Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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