you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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