pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
