I want to stick my p in your. b.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
