Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I know her cup size but not her name....
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
