I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
