i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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