There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
