I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
