You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
