things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
