Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
