All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
