Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
