i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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