no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
tell me about the fingering
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