Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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