I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
