so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
