I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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