Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
