Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
