wake up i wanna do it froggy style
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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