I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
