i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We have started to decorate penises.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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