she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
