kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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