This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
