you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
