Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
