I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
