I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
