Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
