idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
