I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize