She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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